среда, август 22, 2007

Текст од Он нет

Велат дека секој ден мора да изедеме едно јаболко а и една банана, поради калиумот. И еден портокал поради витаминот Ц. И задолжително да испиеме една шолја зелен чај (без шеќер, како превенција од дијабетес) за намалување на маснотиите во крвта. Секој ден мора да испиеме 2 до 3 литри вода (да, и потоа да ја измочаме, што го дуплира времето кое до сега го поминувавме во WC). Секој ден треба да земеме барем еден Биоактив или еден јогурт за да ги имаме сите добри бактерии, за кои никој не знае што точно се, но ако не се снабдиш со барем милион и пол од тие бактерии, си наебал.

Секој ден еден аспирин, за превенција од инфаркт, и една чаша црно вино, исто така против инфаркт. И една чаша бело вино, за нервниот систем. И една чаша пиво, не можам да се сетам зошто.

Секој ден треба да јадеш влакнести материи. Голема, голема количина влакнести материи, додека не посереш гомно големо колку џемпер.

Дневно, потребни се 4 до 6 лесни оброка, притоа не смееш да заборавиш да го џвакаш секое залче 100 пати. Така што, само за јадење ќе ти требаат 5 часа. Е да, после секое јадење треба да ги измиеш забите, така што ќе треба да ги миеш и после јаболкото, после биоактивот, после бананата, после влакнестите материи. И така се додека имаш заби во устата, но да не го заборавиш конецот за чистење заби, масажата на непцата и плакнењето со вода за уста. Би било добро да го опремиш купатилото, можеби да ставиш ЦД плеер или телевизор, бидејќи со оглед на водата, влакнестите материи и забите, ќе поминеш многу, многу време внатре.

Треба да спиеш 8 часа и да работиш преку 8 часа, плус 5 часа за јадење, тоа е 21 час. Ти остануваат 3 часа, ако нема гужва во сообраќајот. Според статистиките, телевизија во просек се гледа 3 часа дневно. Сега тоа веќе нема да можеш да го правиш, бидејќи секој ден треба да пешачиш најмалку половина час (совет: после 15 минути врати се назад, бидејќи во спротивно тие 30 минути, непотребно стануваат еден час). Треба да го негуваш и пријателството, бидејќи тие се како растенијата, треба секојдневно да ги одржуваш.

Во меѓувреме, мора да останеш информиран и да читаш барем два дневни весника и неколку неделници. За да изградиш критички став...

Секој ден треба да имаш секс, но без тој да ти стане рутина: треба да бидеш иновативен, креативен и секогаш повторно да освојуваш. За сето тоа треба време. Да не зборуваме за тантричкиот секс.

Треба да имаш време и за допирот со природата, чистењето на подот, миењето садови, перењето алишта, да не зборуваме за тоа што се треба да правиш ако имаш домашно милениче или деца.

Пресметките покажуваат дека за сето тоа потребни се минимум 29 часа. Единствена можност која се наметнува е да правиш неколку работи истовремено.

На пример: туширај се со ладна вода и држи ја устата отворена – така ќе испиеш 2 литра вода. Додека излегуваш од купатило со четка за заби во устата, истовремено сексај се (тантрички) со партнерот кој за тоа време ќе гледа ТВ и ќе чита весници, додека ти го чистиш подот.

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